One week from today, I will be boarding a plane and traveling halfway around to world to a place with more people in their major cities than all of Canada, a place with over 6000 years of unbroken history and a place that I wish I was more familiar with. From my recent readings, you can probably guess that I'm super excited to be visiting China.
I am a Canadian-born-Chinese who's only encounter with the place of my ancestry was more than 20 years ago when I was 5 years old. Other than speaking (but not writing) Mandarin (and I think on a proficiency level to match a 10 year old), eating Chinese food, having quasi-traditional Chinese parents, and living in a city with a relatively large Chinese influence in the multiple Chinatowns that dots Toronto, I feel that I am still lacking as far as my connection with my ethnic culture.
Despite all the Chinese influences in my upbringing, I still feel ill prepared for the coming swarm of differences that will surely overwhelm me when I step off that plane as a visitor, most definitely not as a member. Despite my physical appearances I have no doubt that I will stick out like a sore thumb from the native Chinese, just as I seem different compared to my Chinese friends who have immigrated to Canada from China. I don't know if a non-Chinese will be able to spot the differences, but I know that I can, just as much as my Chinese friends can. I don't think it's a subtle difference either, but it's not something that I can describe - we just have this sense that differentiates between Chinese and banana in disguise.
China was once a grand empire, leader in the world in politics, culture
and science. They carved a civilisation that the world had never seen,
but it crumbled within through spoiled Emperors and without from
invading mauraders and Imperialists who brought fine words of trade and
diplomacy, but took and exploited in greed. Of interest to me is the changes that China has gone through in the two decades since my last visit. Though young, I do recall bits of what China was like. I remember it being ancient, even my grandparent's houtong felt rustic and dusty. I remember general poverty, people lived small, dressed conservatively, talked quietly.
Everything I've read and photos I've seen of China today are a complete contrast to what I remember. All the places where my extended family lived in China are no longer there, having been demolished to make skyscrapers. They have all moved into much more modern homes in much better luxury. Also disappearing are the old Red views as China slowly opens to a more hybrid
approach to government, blending Communism with Capitalism. There are
surely growing pains in this change, but I believe China will find
their way. I think after the 2008 Beijing Olympics, China has impressed upon the world some of these changes along with its aspirations of what it would like to achieve in the future. China has potential for rebuilding what they have lost and I think it may once again take its lead.
I can't wait to see all this for myself. I expect many surprises, many things familiar, many things completely alien. I hope that I can somehow soak it all in and in doing so understand a little more about what it is to be Chinese.
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